This was a portriat I did of my son. I even made a short script, that I have yet to complete. A lot of personal feeling behind being a father that is not able to be there for his child.
In short my life has been complicated and art has been a refuge.
I have come to find that as an artist, the more and more I try, the harder it becomes to find things that inspire me.
I am not sure who to present my work to or what community should be involved in my work.
I suppose that is why everything comes off so clustered. Being a traveler can have something to do with that I suppose. Never really knowing who to speak with about what the art should be doing other than inspiring people to want more from themselves and those around them.
Only sometimes we become comfortable in what we like and things won't change for the sake of change. They will only last and remain the same. I suppose that is why we have classics like Mucha, Claude, and Marvel Universe.
I am not sure if that is supposed to be funny; It is an observation I have made. There was an arab man recently, suppose 2011 is recent that came up with a comic called "THE 99" every hero from the Marvel Universe or the DC universe was rendered and corrected to speak on the Arab problem.
My question is, where is the Arab culture in the American Marvel Universe? Why was that considered a Forbes list of great ideas and why has no one said, "Hey stop desecrating a great artistic ideal with horrible plot lines. It made me ashamed of being an illustrater to know someone would take an old style of art and inks, put new faces on them and call it there own idea. Not cool.
Made me want so much more from my own art and inspiration and makes me feel horribly old to know it is time for a change and not know where to start.
Illustration may not be where i need to go cause the music is the same and cover albums, the vintage ones won't need my perspective when the giant "Superman S" can just be superimposed in a thousand different ways to tell the same story.
I need help finding my verve agian.
So I am at an impasse. There are a lot of fundraising sites out there. Yet I have not found one that will last.
I had visited Patreon not too long ago and held off from using it because I was not certian the site would be there in the next few months. Low and behold today when I tried to access it and take some of my work and promote it there. The site was none-responsive. Kickstarter is supposed to be good as well. Only well after the flash and jazz of selling there funding projects they end up as useful as Linkedin.com.
Everyone tells me I need to work on my sickability. To hand out products for free until people get to know and trust me. I am a Capitalist at heart and find it hard to listen to those that say give your life work out for free. Then there are those that say, "Do the work for the Love of doing it!" I interpret that to mean, "Enjoy being broke."
There is this, "New-age Zen," doctrine associated with the online opportunites with the art district that I am not sure I am comfortable with it transfering into proceeds. There are so many people that tell me how, "happy they are," But when you ask them what there return rate is on there ideals and prodocuts they are selling, they say, "What?!"
As if they did not think about that when they advertised or set out into this market of "GoFundMe.com"
It is like when I go to the bank and they say, "I don't know why your pay-pal account is not registuring sir, it works for me." then you rebuttal, "Oh, yeah, how much have you been able to transfer from your pay-pal account to your checking?"
"Oh I don't have anything in my pay-pal, but I know the accounts are linked, cause Pay-pal told me so."
I am stunned into silence.
The New Americanna is the death of Common Sense.
Comic-Con is the show of the year all the time for artists like me. If not comic-con you could find me on the universties passing out cards to people just to come and look at my work. Sometimes I feel like doing it again, cause I really believed that was the only way to do it. Just have, "No Fear of Falling," and jump right in it. It worked for a single guy with no family or responabilities. I have a lawn mower I need to take time to rebuild because it has an oil leak.
Everyone says, "You did not go to school to learn no trade, so why are you under that car or lawn mower, or messing with the plumbing?"
Someone has to do it. So I read and I tinker till I get it right. No I never went to school for illustration and I say this with pride because well anything and everything we want to do, really takes "Determination," and as (Scar Face) said, "I know I come from the gutter, I know I come from nothing, but when I talk to the right people and build up my connections, I am going to the top."
Not sure if I should have quoted Scar Face. LOL. But I remember a radio station in NC hmm I believe it is the one that plays @ State University late at night, would play that conversation as an Intro every night. So everynight as I am dreaming I am hearing Scar Face remind the world what he wanted. I have not taken the time to see if they still jam after hours, but I am certain the DJ really felt he made it when everynight he could tell the world his story, Through that intro of course.
It is that struggle to the top that I remember my college experiance to be, my trips around the counrty and so on. It is that struggle that makes, "Black Amethyst," not only a good art piece. But a good read as well.
Man I love my job!
I was in the car driving home from work and I remembered what inspired my sound, my art, my verve. What made it uniquely my own. Not only that every piece has my stroke. That when you look at it, you can't help but say, "Yeah he did that one."
That scratchy grudge feel is a tell all. I suppose it was Weezer, The Offshoots ( out of Bellingham Washington) , Celco Green, Gorillaz, Everclear will definetly have to a band I say has an influence on my vision.
At least the vision I present now. I might even see a little of Fort Minor. The good old days when you woke with a cup of joe and thought for the summer I would go hang out with the tour and party until the sun came up next year.
Things are different now and I suppose my art should mature, I was still listening to Everclear while I was coming home from work and I miss the gigs and bar jams, the fun. So when I present my art it is way to show where and how I grew up. Maybe next year Ill present some more "Grown up" art, but this year will about refelction. Cause I am not that old yet.
I remember when I turned 16 I was learning to post my work online and advertise myself.
The first person to respond to all of my letters and resume's was IMAGE COMICS.
They offered me 60,000.00 to give them scripts and prints and I believe the manuscript to one of my stories. That was so much money I balked. I could not believe anyone wanted my work. Liked my ideas, saw any worth in my craft. I never did take up the offer. I am sure many of you today would have looked at me as I look at myself. (Idiot)
Most would read this story and believe it was the words of a sham-artist. I hold a lot of pain behind listening to my parents who said such a contract was phony and not worth your time. "No one has that kind of money!" they said.
To this day I can not remember what the story was. I can barley rememeber the art. I am sure it was black and white inks, cause that was what I grew up with. Black and white comics, no color no real story. Just images that spoke volumes. I look at my art today and wonder how have I grown in the arts and how have I stagnated. Compared to most of the newest prints and what people consider art. I can not see my growth. I see a lot of my childhood and I wonder. Am I still worth 60,000.00
I like to think I am.
It really feels good, after completing a piece of art, posting it online or in a forum or in a showcase; present the motivations behind the work and only after 10 viewings, the stars fly and the crowds applaud.
The artist looks at his/her piece of work and has to ask themselves, am I really on to something. Am I really worth the stars or the accolades? Certainly not. The story maybe. "Holding the Line!" is an important piece, because it is the last one of its kind. I wont be doing art like that anymore. At least I will try not to. Sure it is my style and I am really wondering as to who inspired my style.
I am a world traveler. So it seems like anyone and everyone can take a piece of my art and relate to it. There is a verve in the piece that reminds me of Jazz, Blues, Rock and Roll, Rap, Country, Folk, Celtic, eh maybe not so much celtic. At least not in any symbology. Certainly there is an air of Frech history in it.
Yet I can see our present state of things in it. I can remember my time with the Occupy Movement through it. I can hear the cry of the 60's and 70's through it. At time my parents went through and they seem to be all right. I can see a lot of the past and I am happy to have shared it.
I would like my next peices to reflect our present and much of what tomarrow can bring. Always looking for tomarrow.
I challenge those that interact with my feed, to think of all the things that make them artists. What is it that makes their work unique and when people look at their work know who and what they are.
Can it be determined from our art where we stand in the world?
Or are we children posting up the dreams of our childhood for our mothers to see, on the refigorator wall and commend us with a smile for our acolades.
Half the time I produce works just to say, "I DiD it!" never want it to be said I allowed the gift God gave me to go to waste or to be buried for another to come and say he/she had the idea first. I am a venture capitalist when it comes to ideas. I find that there is life in living the dream, even if the dream has to come on canvas first.
They call someone like me an architect: Only I don't plan on making towers and sky scrapers. What I want to build is a new direction for the artist, I am going to stamp my name on it too. I can not belive that everything done in America comes from some overseas ideal. That the American story is not told and when we do hear the American story, it starts with the drum beats of Politics and who to hate. Our cartoons are filled with hate. (The Americans ones); filled with devicive guidlines and the last time you ever saw an American illustration of Love and Unity, it was Captain Planet from DiC and Michel Jacksons little telvision show and PBS (BoB Ross ---teaching our children how make (Happy Clouds)) Sorry folks I don't believe Looney Toones are how I want to remember or have my children remember art. I am sorry folks; But my skills and your skills deserve more than a SCHOLASTIC ACHEIVEMENT REWARD for best attempt!
A man goes to give a presentation on his work. Pulls out 35 pieces of art. All of them different but it can be understood that he was the creator. He gave a discourse on each one. Which was his favorite, which took him an hour, where his mind was when he began and where his mind was when he finished.
Most art is created from the mind and the ones that are duplicated from visual support are mostly overlooked. The ones created from the mind are given 6 to 35 once overs and not a word is said.
The man goes on speaking hoping to get a rise out of someone, hoping they will be intregued by his frame of referance and still no one says a word.
At this point he is confused, short of doing anything profane he begins to wonder what is that willl hold the attention of the people? He is just shy of coming off as the little man behind the iron curtain. That thought begins to set in (Little man behind the iron curtain).
We must always keep away from such an image (remain humble) One day someone will come and have an opinion of the work you do. No need to shock and awe. Never is there a need for the shock and awe.
We used to talk about this when I was a kid in middle school. What would our world be like if we could step out of video games and in real life move the world with bots.
Oh yes we are nearer than most believe!