Pardon me for a minute while I burst.

I must give a disclaimer that a lot of what is about to be said is directed to myself in observance of my own feelings on an issue I really want resolved before long and continues to appear from the pit of insecurity.

(Not my own pit-mind you. It is someone else’s pit of black goo that is invading my own, space.)

Pardon me while I burst.

A while back @TheGrimlord asked me to draw him a little witch lost at the fair. Something to coincide with the soundtrack he made for the idea. https://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/814201

To this day no one has taken him up on his offer and the one I did before was not quite "family friendly,"

Pardon me while I burst, I was not feeling "family friendly," at the time. Sometimes I still don't feel family friendly and make little effort to do so.

Aside from my feelings, I sought to excuse my behavior in the notion that because I cannot define "tranquility," A marvelous word and the best I came up with is an expression of peace that is so foreign to me, everyday someone is asking me. "Hey mister did your cat die yesterday?" or "Are we going to have a good day today?"

That is not a family friendly question just, so you know. That is a question that leads to fire, flames and fury; for it implies "you," the person that asks such a question, that there is something negative that can be said If I find a need to chuck fireballs at you and I had not even said a word yet. Why don't you wait until I start chucking them before you insinuate that I am in  a bad mood, and while we are on this train of thought, "who are you to suggest, I should not feel bad or the show of any form of aggression, is of the devil?"

I've been hearing that a lot lately, so Pardon me while I burst.

This disruption of my tranquility has been formulated upon the idea that if what is said by "you," (the person that asks, are we going to have a good day today?")  angers me, if what you do angers me, I should say nothing.  I should allow you to feel comfortable to share your thoughts even if it is at the expense of my esteem, I want to have a good day, don't I?

As I complete this thought and reflect on how in the same sentence I was compared to the devil or being possessed of him, something snaps and all that I hear in my head is the "little witch lost at the fair." An entertaining tune that begs me to be family friendly, even when I am being verbally abused.

As hard as it was for me to believe a little witch could ever be lost in a fair, it was that much harder for me to believe I am suffering from a lack of tranquility and verbal abuse and encouraged to remain in this pitiful state to prove, "I can love."

Another song comes to mind It is new but very relevant to this conversation, "She's Kerosene," by an on the verge group "The interrupters." I think. When they are new like that, they are prone to name changes. I like the song. I think it's a shame I don't have a song to douse that flame right now. I wonder at times, "Why should I..?"

I never sparked the match. Even in my silence I have been wrong.

There are times when a person will say something to make the Dragons eye quiver and I won't say a word. They will drag on and on and pile up that fortified tower of justified filth and in the name of peace, friendship, and love I won't mention how insensitive or down disrespectful it is to build a wall, to want distance and space, and then accuse "Me," of having separated us or some other nonsense, and wanting to be free of the burden of being made to sit next to you guarded palace walls until you are ready to join the real world.

"Why should I lose my tranquility over a moment in passing?"

In the name of real love, who is going to hold onto the comments about weight gained from the pumpkin pie of last year’s holiday celebration? Who really cares that every year when it is time to enjoy a slice, someone is making a comment of how big the paunch has become, is that really a reason to throw fireballs?

I think it is when you've heard me explain my desire to care and love you, all day I entertain your needs at the neglect of my own and you have the nerve to ask, "Do I stick around for love or to fulfill my  lusts?" As if after two years you can't tell the difference, do I find the flame begin to rise.

Pardon me while I burst.