@S3C really gave me a lot to think about in regards to what I can achieve now with more positive people in my life, I'm going to have to separate myself from the people who are only going to allow me to achieve so much without depending on them and offer no aid and act like anything I ask for is so much more than I deserve. I know that I have low self esteem but I'm not so sure I deserve that kind of stuff and, I feel if I could just get away from them for a while, things will change.

You know I will have to dig deep from the well of dreams to envision myself in a world that can tolerate each other and the shed away the stigmas imprinted on them by spirit sucking vampires , who can't see beyond the money that they garnish from my dead soul, I'm made to wonder if they will fight me on my decision to leave , and if they do does that mean that they would rather I just allow them to use my disability check as they see fit, or would not my presence be more appreciated elsewhere??

I'm going to test out my theory very soon.

Despite how defeated and alienated, my family makes me feel, they swear they love me, but then say things like they are tired of helping people that won't help themselves, I think that is the definition of being gaslite and I don't quite know were it is coming from. But I'm certainly going to defang my venomous aunts, like they are awe-struck at the fact that I still have a beautiful penis.punish.

You know I think I understand how wounded warriors feel after coming home from war and just light themselves on fire, one last rebel yell for the fallen.

My act will be silent but just as explosive. Crazy as apology to describe the decision to leave my family, but in the aftermath of my leaving, their finances take a hit. I can't imagine that sitting well with them.