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Poetry update: What do you see when you see me?

Posted by AdventVoice - March 20th, 2018


So I contacted Red Clay Review and they are reviewing my prose and I have to wait until the deadline to see who won or if I am up for the drawing. They told me normally the winners are asked to give a brief bio of themselves, and it got me to thinking, as a creator how have I grown and how would I describe myself in 1-3 sentences?

I am stumped but I think this is a good excerise for a lot of us that enjoy creating and telling a story.

I would love to take the burden of not having to talk about myself off of my hands and ask those that view my work, "What do you see when you see me?"

Using the little view points that are given to devise a draft for this review. I am not vain enough to believe I am anymore than what I show people and though I talk about myself: A lot: it seems on these few posts. I talk a lot about how I view the world and see things; but I enjoy the fact that as a creator I don't have to talk about me and just what I see.

Now I am asked to talk about mysefl and it can't be long winded. Even when I wrote Black Amethyst the only thing that could be said to show of me, was the idea that no writer or creator can leave a project without involving himself a little. The truth is no real artist can speak on anything he or she has not been involved in personally or there is no authenticty and it is pure fantasy/conjecture. Running the risk of angering your audience and having them deem you a  creator of little experience or worth. Sometimes we run into the idea that even fantasy has a level of truth, relative to the creator, and this only occures because of the idea that no creator can walk away from a project without revealing something of themselves from it.

  This very issue is why those from my past or present or future can hear me speak. I can use another name entierly, change setting and location, but if I am delivering a story, someone who is close to me, will realize I might have used experiances involving them. To save them and myself from any unnesscary embarresment, I try to talk solely of myself or in generic terms.

  All this talk about ego and identity simply raises the question, "What do you see when you see me?"

 


Comments (1)

It's a question I ask people a lot, I'll admit. 'What do you see when you see me?' I don't know if the motivations are different here, like if I am trying to understand myself and I don't.

We have a lot in common, I've noticed.
Same motivations. A desire to see if I am reflecting what I tell people or if I am a hypocrite and can correct something. That kind of question is out of a desire to probe myself from the reflections of others. Holding to the fact that each of us can paint a picture with words to describe the other from the little we know about them.
For example, I have not seen my son's mother in years and can you imagine she knew who I was from the few posts I left. At first I was a little upset, I thought I had matured enough to where I can talk about anything I want, change names, places, locations, just tell the story right. LMAO she could pick me out of a line up from me simply speaking and I could wear a mask like Lelouch Lamperouge and she would still know it is was me speaking. I thought after the years and different experiences would have changed how I view and speak on things. In some cases time has done that, but it has not changed how I speak and I think that is what she picked up on.
She was really upset that I did not reveal myself to her. She was upset that I did not trust her enough. So we don't speak. For now. I hold out that she has read a lot of my messages and will let me see my son soon. It was a great experiment though. After nearly 8 years and not having seen me and thinking I might be dead, a few clicks and posts later she is screaming at me about not telling her who I am and where I have been. Though it can be said I have been doing that, just under a different name, and because I am so long winded, I really don't know how to put in 1-3 sentences "Who Am I" to any real satisfaction because I could have sworn I was not the same person from 8 years ago.
I think of myself from 8 years ago and well I did not do as much art back then, I did not sing as much as I do now, I did not live well, like I am living now and aren't these the things that help us grow?