In pervious posts, I've spoken of the challenges of an artist like me to have meaningful relationships with people. I spoke on it cause I thought it might interest you to know, why a sex fiend like myself is single...feels alone around friends and family, and has a horrible relationship with his mother and other women.

Clearly I'm not abusive. I'm kind. Well mannered and we'll spoken. Yet as a traveling kid, I learned early on, it matters not how well you speak but how well your understood and how well you deflect the presumptions of others.

I hate being this way. I can say hate, here and not be acussed of condoning hate speech..which I am careful of. It true though...with a passion I wait for a woman to come around that will love me and know I can't be seperated from the one thing that brings me peace. For then peace is the dream and I'd forever live on my dreams. What would be lefthe to me?

I did not go to church today because the niece of the woman I care for believes I'm not worth investing in as a person..told me in her judicial fashion, that she cares nothing for me and my well-being and just wants to see her aunt happy. Which is fine. Yet makes me put distance between us. Makes it so if I don't interact with them I'm the enemy and everything they claim me to be. They I mean her, Rebecca, and that fat PhD man whom believe's my talent to be a farce and my stories of digging under fences to eat, to be fables.

Manipulator is how they see the man willing to care for their elderly..not my own family but theirs. What a joke

Now if they saw the art...my job would be over. I drew tit's and guns in the sam imahe and that makes me as bad as Hitler, in the eyes of those around me.

How am I to ever find love if I am seen as an evil man?