Since I've been on this mach-house-arrest by my current employers, a lot of things have been getting tight.

That's an American expression for, I have cobwebs in my wallet and it's starting to really irk me. No, the cobwebs are not due to Covid-19 restrictions, though it's all I read about in the paper or hear about on the radio.

My DWI case is still pending, won't hear from my lawyer till the 16th. Two days from now. I suppose I've been rather on edge cause I have not been able to do anything. The last time I felt like this was my second year of University when I realized it would be six years of classes before I was legally allowed to make money as a lawyer and start finding clients. Six years of theory and no real practical experience in the field did not impress me and I firmly believed in 'hands-on' training back then.

I grew a beard. Much like what I have now, and felt any desire to impress people with my dress or appearance would be a waste and a bore.

It was not depression mind you. Just as I am not depressed now. It was anxiety and the lack of money to buy nice clothes or new shoes every six months that pissed me off. Relying on people to pay you money for gigs and odd jobs while you cram for exams and papers that would produce no revenue in the end.

It was a vicious cycle and I find myself repeating much of the same in my adult life.

It's not depression mind you. Just a recognition that nothing changes for the better unless you are willing to organize the minds of people and squeeze a penny out of their tight-fisted palms.

I'm trapped in my home, without a car and relying on the kindness of others to pick me up cigs and my mail at the post office from time to time. (This is not even court ordered, and I'm not enjoying it. ) those who have me under these conditions are well off and have whatever they need on hand. Yet begrudge me a few knick-knacks because I happened to have a little too much to drink one night.

Can't wait till those who lobby for MADD (mothers against drunk driving) get stoned at some charity funding party, get pulled over cause the cop was nosy, smells the wine on their breathe, and book'em, for the very thing most people ask a little reprieve on. Wouldnt that make a wonderful news article.

Outside of the stresses of this legal matter, and my new found addiction with smartphone app games, I've little motivation for much else. I have a lot of work to do and I'm sure to finish it.

*one day*

I just hope most of you can be patient with me and or send me a little cash for a few cigs to keep me plugging away at the art work. I smoke Malboro's, that roughly runs me 5.69 per pack. So maybe I should start charging commissions for art and run them at that price.

Throw some ideas out there in the comment section or PM me of what you'd like to see if I happen to stay out of jail and I'll start working on it. You can send the boxes of cigs via my mail box.

I could use one right about now.