After finishing all three episodes on demand i was able to get over my disappointment in the speed of which a plot, based on a classic story was crammed into on!y a few hours of television.

It was conducted well and the cenamatic features of digital mountains, of India were developed well. It was nice to dive into the world of hypocritical nuns, who determined to stifle love, lust, rage, and envy, in the name of spiritual enlightenment, and religious prowess, in a world where time stands still, and the shades have no hope of an external resting place.

Had me considering, just how old is the struggle of mankind, to cope with the beast that resides in us all, that only desires to love and be loved?

Is it worth dying over, killing oneself for? Are people worth all of that drama?

I am supposed to believe so. I am supposed to believe the joy found bathing naked in a pool of water with a lover, is worth contending over and plunging a knife into the ❤️ of those that would seperate us from the one or many people that find joy in our company.

I think of the one woman that true!y loved me and how cruel I had to be to her in leaving. I told her I loved her, and I love her so much that the hatred her daughter feels for me can not seperate her mother from her. So I left. Willingly, to appease the irs of a jealous brooding hussie, who has never felt love in her own life and was willing to say or do anything to prevent her mother's happiness.

Today I was able to reach out to this one love. I have to put this in here, just so you understand that my joy in merely hearing the voice of such a sweetheart, moaning in joy at the sound of my own, no matter how far I must go for my own safety, no matter how hard the envious bitch chases after me to end the connection and devotion we have for another, nothing can take the joy from me in knowing that she still swoons and dreams of my touch.

I could never love anyone as much as I love her, and though I did not kill myself as illustrated in this Black Narcissus television program, I did sever the physical connection harshly, coldly, so untrue to how warm my heart beats for her.

It feels like a death. Like I'm drowning and sucking in more than my lungs can hold. Crashing into the deep, just to save her peace of mind and relationship with her daughter and family.

Could be for some pious pride. Could be for spiritual balancing. Knowing I can't play God with the lives of others and needing them to make their own decisions for the story to retain it's authenticy. I write the story, I never tell people what to think of say...though I wish I could.

I wish I could illustrate how real love does not have be seen as selfish because you are happy and desire to have it here and now while your alive. Not waiting on a world unseen, a dream, to claim ones peace.

My world is not so bleak. My love not so weak.