In my youth a kiss was an innocent claim of affection for another. It was as unimposing as a hug or a pat on the back between friends. Of course we young men were not going around kissing each other. We would beat each other up as a display of endorsement for one another.

The young women mind you, received, tussled hair, while at the same time never imposing terms or conditions upon our kisses.

That was all they were, kisses.

Just because her wet lips devoured yours, you were not to believe that meant you’d marry, go steady, or were to have any thoughts of children and if she saw you kissing another, that was fine because you did not belong to her anyway.

She could kiss her girl friends full on the lips and suck on their necks, leave hickies and red marks where shadows grew during the day. This did not make them ‘lesbians,’ mind you. Those kiss did not deaden her desire for the touch of a man and neither did it rule out the possibility of sharing that man with her closet friends. They were innocent and as unimposing as a hug.

The habit of labeling and categorizing and joining groups or tribes, did not occur, until high school and where not so ‘all encompassing,’ until the death of adolescents and the choice was determined by traditions, few had a chance to investigate on their own, were encouraged never to question or alter, and probed and precluded thought, but the time spent under the grip of higher-scholastic-obligations.

$40,000.00-$100,000.00 was spent on four to eight years deciding if what we have come to accept as social realities was to remain in the realm of theory, fantasy, and projection, or if it was true because relationships are much to difficult to hold onto outside of the traditions laid out for us.

I was nine years old when I learned Christians had no love or understanding for Sodomy or Lesbianism. The innocent kiss of young girls among each other that grew into the recourse of holding off, marriages of convenience, pregnancies of loveless marriages, and the ambitions of vain men who only loved the idea of a woman and not the woman was the definition of everything against the teaching of the traditions of the Church, verses everyone else.

Now it is taught by Catholics that we are to accept it as always was and normal. It is the ideal form of expression and men were expected to love their fellow man with his probing rob, strictly in the anus of another. The innocent kisses of the playground have turned into the insecurities of our elders who faint under the weight of holding to the declarations of truth, long prodded over and paid in full through years of financial and scholastic endorsement.

Oh, how I yearn for the days of my youth when their was no tribe, no obligation and a kiss was an innocent as a hug.       

For the past few days I’ve not wanted to think about anything. The last time I felt like this I was 21. Old enough to drink myself into oblivion in my dorm room, the night before a major final exam that studying for had bored me to tears.

I passed. Even surprising myself that I desired to function after a bottle of rum and hours of Family Guy reruns and Super Jail.

That year most of my girlfriends had decided to challenge me to pick only one of them to fuck on a regular basis. Because they did not think it was fair that I was ‘stringing them along.’ Which was laughable when you consider they all had boyfriends.

I remembered the story of Zeus and how Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena, and few other goddesses and lesser goddesses he was fucking asked him to name the prettiest of them all and he chose one and rued the day he did not choose Hera; who claimed him as husband and demanded the respect the title of wife afforded her. https://www.theoi.com/Olympios/JudgementParis.html

None where that important and so I banished them. Never saw them again after that. Which was fine, I could not handle the headache that came with their insatiable demands.

After they left, I left and walked around the city looking for something to entertain my mind. Nothing came. That was a boring year. I can remember the emptiness of the campus, though their were many people there. So many potential profits, so many dreamers. I was the worst kind of playboy back then. I would get rid of women, only to line up more because I could not stand the silence of being alone. Facebook was no better than Myspace back then and their was always a potential blowjob on call or through text, rather, available. A lot of their names come to mind as I sit here thinking about them.

There was nothing better than going to the club on the weekend, collecting numbers, telling them I all I was single and available and getting lifted by their deep-throttling mouths for a few hours. Finish. Pay-nothing. Leave and find another woman to entertain me or let me stay the night.

All to ease my mind.

Amid being plagued by thoughts of being broke for the next six years because their was little in the way of work. I took a job at Burger King: mistake. Mattress Capital: mistake. When I was not there, I was hustling papers for paralegals and lawyers, moving military families out of their homes. All of it was a waste of time. I should have focused on my art and writings. I should have been going to Comic-cons. I should have been making video games and hanging out with fan-fiction writers, other dreamers and building a hot-spot I would have called, “The Nightinggale,” and sucked up all of that weekend money. https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/AVplusME

We threw parties in the dorm rooms for a fee and would rent homes; spending the weekdays recruiting women to come and “Go-Go,” dance and spend some money with us, but it was childish compared to competitors like Club Fubar in Raleigh, The Skybar in Durham, or Diamond Girls (You know that famous strip club that set the world on fire over the Duke Lacrosse Boys)

I would visit them from time to time to investigate their blowjob clientele.

Don’t ask me why I am walking through these old places in my mind right now. Could be because as when I was 21 and found myself in a hard place financially, I desired to take my cares and watch them drown in rum. Immerse myself in the scent of a woman and faint from the adoration she shared in the gift of her mouth.

All at once I felt better and did not mind the hunt for an occupation that appealed to my ego.

Back then I was certainly, “Running away from God,” and anything that hinted toward moral absolute, rules, control and would deny me the ability to earn a seat in the Capital Building or high loft residences that over looked the city. 

The sad thing was, when I was introduced to people of wealth and some form of social eliteness, they all seemed asinine to me. The men lacked ambition or a desire to venture into anything besides dealing drugs and using that money to buy commercialized property to support Tattoo shops that butchered the bodies of all the young people; or barbershop that butchered the hairlines of all the young people. Hair salons that burned out all the hair of the beautiful young women. Chicken shacks that clogged the arteries of all the young men, and Churches that robbed the souls of the creative mind by telling them how worthless they were if they were not willing to give the last of their college refund checks to their organization.

The women dreamed of men that could make them climax, take them to dinners every night, buy the newest Chanel hand bag, buy that new house. So they could sneak another man into the home and give out blowjobs to soothe the madness that comes from being left alone in their mansions, their husbands bought them as he promised on their wedding day.

After having seeing that day in and day out, you can imagine why rum, blowjobs, and smooth jazz music was the ointment to soothe the rash, city life would give me, the longer I stayed there. It was like reliving a Ralph Ellison novel except the year is 2009-2010 and I have no fear of loving a Caucasian woman when the urge strikes me; or simply settling for a blowjob.

Yeah right. I started with a blowjob and ended with meeting the family and dealing with the awkward stares that come with the insecurities, associated with interracial relationships that occurred at the time.

Though I was fine with it and encouraged it. There was not a real acceptance, at least one I could notice. Not until 2015. Again, I’ve entertained the blowjobs of white women since I was eleven and so on but it came with challenges that I had the freedom to meet with my fists and the ability to hog tie the earnest men that sought to step into a situation that had nothing to do with them, my elders did not enjoy. In like manner the youth of today enjoy even more. It almost comes off as an expectation or inclination. If you are alone too long with a fair skinned woman, that she will offer and because I am black I am to accept, lest I am seen as homosexual or impotent, neither of which is true.

No, but because I am older the ability to walk up to a woman and ask for her time and a blowjob without inclining to pay for the service, just seems childish and tacky.  

~ Father’s Day ~ that was two days ago. A year ago I published an article “They have called me Degenerate,” https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/01/they-have-called-me-a-degenerate/

in it I express my desire to see my son again one day.

I never really did receive a lot of feedback for that article and I wonder as the years go by if it is a day easily forgotten? Have we become so desensitized to the idea that crime has been on the rise due to the lack of fatherly influences in the home and the mounting prison institutions replacing fathers in the home with state regulated representation?

Personally I have not gotten to the point where I don’t want to talk about it, or the tears no longer spill when I think of him. I’d love to no longer shed tears over him, my William. There is just so much men like me are supposed to say, are expected to impart, that I’d rather not because of my hypocritical position.

He is going to be nine come Christmas. That is nine years I have not been in his life. Come 2020 it will be a decade and the time will continue to stack against me. “Black Amethyst,” https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/black-amethyst will mean nothing to him by the time his is a grown man. If my words have no effect on his heart, as they have waned against the hearts of the average person, there will be little I could say or do to excuse or apologize for my absence.

Of course I can’t possibly beat myself up year after year for not being there or doing enough to declare my right to influence his life.

Karlene Turrentine is a lawyer, supposed to be a friend of mine, but after she accused me of running from God, I am not so sure. It isn’t funny. What could she mean by that?

Does she suggest that my life is not a reflection of the Lord God of Isreal working in my life?

Outside of reuniting with my son after years of separation and little to no money to support him, building her aunts dream and staking my claim to a piece of that dream, Liberation: I could not imagine what more she’d want from me. Does she want me to bring followers to her church? Is that the reflection of the power of God? A million dollar church? Cause if it is, I doubt my beliefs will be the piece needed to aid such ideas.

Sure I’d love for the world of art to intergrate and permeate throughout the Christian Community, but as long as they remain cloistered in their desire to ignore the views of the relations between people, holding onto the themes of the secular culture, video games, and creativity of any kind being inspired by the devil and demons, then the rift will remain and any desire I have to share of a world in which those made to feel marginalized, disfranchised, and devalued, finally achieving their realization of liberty on the Holy Hill of Zion, now and not having to wait upon their death’s to be remembered for influencing their corner of the universe, will have to wait until they are in a position to hear anything of worth from someone ten to twenty years younger than them.

I am very careful about not allowing my overly zealous friends of the Christian sect having access to some of my more revealing pieces of art. That is why I can’t imagine what she could have gleaned from me, outside what I’ve told her or desired to share to suggest “I’ve walked away from God.” To publicly pray I return from my wicked ways and preach the word of god.

Preach the word of god! I say that with contempt of Christians whom heard my declarations and desire to express 1 Cor 13:12 through my art and have either missed it or believe, the Prostitutes, Ex-cons, drug addicts the uneducated, the college dropout, the Vegas stripper, the derelict bum, the vagabond, the starving artist, the politically moderate who lives in their sheltered middle-class fantasy of ‘live and let live,’ attitudes towards the mounting distresses plaguing the poorer communities. The constant dross that would drive a sane man crazy to deliberate over everyday. Would suggest their loving God placed the judgment that is their lives of depression and denied them charity because they are sinners and deserve it.

Knowing Christ died for us all, redeems us all and because they remain enthralled in the hope televised by the world, then they are to perish in their deception.

I have not walked away from God or his people. His people are my people, that includes the Jew first. For the promise is to the Jew first and then the Gentile.

You know my people are gentiles? That secular, Roman-Greco, African, Latin community that still teaches me how to express charity. The need for it. Those that knew God, never needed that kind of love, they received it freely. Their is an ocean of people that have yet to receive but they must see before they can hear.

But I will not cast my pearls among the swine made fat on the word of God and never exercise or stretch their spiritual muscles.

Never dared to dream.

It is not depression or unhappiness that makes me reflect on the realities of my life and seek to find comfort in my art and the community that supports the guild.

It is my frustration with communities outside of the world of art that will find every excuse to curse me into poverty, dysentery, a card board box or indentured servitude because of the preconditioning of a society that associates any form of craft with the occult and deviance. Then after condemning me to the outskirts of the metropolis and reach of the center of the marketplace with obscene regulations of where and when I can present my talent, encourage others to not pay me or entertain my interests because of a disagreement that remains unsettled.

At the moment I can a caregiver of an 84 year old woman who does not have much longer to live. When I am done here I would not have earned enough money to settle in an apartment any where in the city and the rural towns are still holding onto a dead past. I will be no better off than I was in 2010 after leaving the University, because I could no longer afford it. I am not alone in this mind you. There are a lot of 30-50 year olds that came from upstanding backgrounds, were princes and princess’s of their generation, who’s parents left them with no outlet for financial gain. Have to bust tables in restaurants or work and have worked ten years in the same registry position in Whole Foods.

I did not go to college and spend that money, time and energy to glean fields in the country or bag groceries to pay my bills. I am not above doing it. I have worked some bull-shit jobs in the past. It is not ideal and so I continue my search for more.

The four pieces of art https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/juicyjolene-chicago https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/sweet-dreams https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/glamour-girls https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/gypsy-love featuring the two Gypsy’s of Chicago was attempted for many reasons.

I can’t put the idea in a nice package or article and say, this is why I spent my entire weeekend drawing instead of looking for a better avenue to pay bills or just put more money in my pocket.

1. I don’t want to lose the knack of being able to pull my sketch pad out of my bag and draw the people, places, and things I see.
2. A day is coming soon when I will have to pack my things, bend to the eviction notice and while finding a new place to live, encourage someone to buy my art and help me pay my rent.
3. I was a vagabond from 2010-2015 and never picked up the pen to write or draw the world as it was. I had many friends, lovers, and as a lone gypsy desired to have someone I could share my tent or abandoned city roof top with.
4. The “Gypsy’s of Chicago,” have their chosen profession because where ever they are, there is no other recourse. She may be denied the support of Christian organizations because of the representation and stigma that comes with the field of sex-work but everyday they breathe, can eat, and keep out of the hands of institutions that would much rather see them imprisoned, working in someone’s coffee bean field, or driving an 18 wheeler filled with produce to feed the masses, they can continue indulging in their contemporary field of study.
5. Three of those years as a vagabond, after the loss of my son, family and friends, I spent them in prison. There were a few years of travel cross country and abroad when the poverty was so thick and the city streets filled with the deification that you did not mind paying $40.00 a night for a place to sleep. The last 4 years was a prison and a make-shift interment camp, that the only reason I am still not there is because an elderly woman took pity on me and said I could live with her for a while. She helped to keep the State out of my hair.

I now work my mind and fingers to the bone seeking to understand how to stay out of a place like G.E.O and make enough money to earn the kind of affection as shown in my “Gypsy’s of Chicago,” compilation with a woman with a face as beautiful as Jolene’s twitter.com/thejuicyjolene Oh what a dream. To have her say “Yes I’ll marry you, keep you safe, allow you to suckle my big breasts when ever you like, to draw me as you see fit and promote you like you promote me; when the wolves come for us sex addicts and deviant lovers, I will hold your hand while you use your broad shoulders to pave our way to freedom, to live another day seeking the riches of this world so we can eat a $45.00 corn beef sandwich without battling an eyelash. I will stand with you as you have stood with me. Loyal to your love as you are loyal to mine. Your my kind of guy.”

I would remain putty in her hand. Never wanting to wake from the dreams we weave.

The years have carried us far from the days of “American Primitive Paintings,” as described by Jean Lipman: ~1942-1969~ Much of the reason I retain consternation about those that discredit the achievements of digital artists.

There are a lot of inquisitive questions raised whenever I take time to draw real people.

What were they doing while I traveled across the country from 2011-2015?

Where they in search of methods to overcome the crash of 2007 to present? ((No matter how the Republicans tout a booming economy and financial gain, or ignore those on welfare to be political fodder to their Democrat masters, their remain more starving artists, than successful ones.))

Everyday I am made to remain thankful for the ability to broadcast my work online. That costs money. And as long as I can remain above destitution and have a studio to work out of, I can say I am better off then where I was years ago.

How do they measure success, compared to their lives of three years prior?

For me, success will not be realized until I find sponsors, willing to publish my crafts and assist in getting them into the hands of the thousands, interested in the beauty expressed from the woman.

It is nice to see women with a little fupa can be glamorized, supported and loved by so many people. I should ask if they ever plan on making Pin-up calendars in the future? They have a good line up of prints that can be used. It is equally wonderful that these two express interest in showcasing the real beauty of a woman, in as natural of a state of sensuality that can be achieved without it seeming forced and gaudy.

Either it is natural or they are the best modeling/actresses I’ve seen in a long time, because their friendship seems real, and I’ve been fooled into believing, they enjoy the demands of their work and the travel.

I remember the first time I was locked up. I was seventeen, turning eighteen and I would read People’s Magazine, King Magazine, Hip-Hop “Something or other,” Rolling Stone Magazine, just a lot of publications which featured dolled up women with flawless ‘sex-hair,’ or features unmarred by the realities of life. Young nubile women that I’d never meet and meant nothing to me but a passing fancy of objectification. I found myself, as I read about their dreams, aspirations, desires of love and being a house-wife that never had to debase herself again by taking pictures which complemented her Jergens baby-oiled ass, just right, wondering as I turned the pages, could I ever be the kind of man that could condone the actions of a woman I called, ‘lover,’ to bare her soul and curves for the world to see for a few hundred dollars that would only carry us to her next photo shoot and never put enough in our pockets to pay for the ever increasing interest placed upon the home and lifestyle we rarely enjoy due to the busy work schedules?

Would I sacrifice the peace I obtain in finding interesting things to draw for my own pleasure for the demands of drawing what people desire, only to argue about the ever increasing rate per commission? All for the sake of the dream that is found in being successful. 

I shared merely a sketch of Jolene of Chicago, known as JuicyJolene Chicago on twitter. She retweeted and sent hearts across the TWITTERVERSE for m. So awesome. https://twitter.com/Scope2Mars/status/1139267622762156033 https://twitter.com/thejuicyjolene/status/1129868175313711111

I think about my online support and remember what the owner of Joyful Jewel ( https://adventvoice.newgrounds.com/news/post/1056243 ) suggested about “Digital Art,” as a profession.

“I think the reason people don’t like digital art is similar to how they treat Photography. Feeling because they can do it themselves, there is no need to pay the expensive prices set by hobbyists or professional artists, they don’t attribute a value to the art.”

Hearing that made me want to write a how to book about digital art and illustrations, and suggest readers send me their attempts based on my point by point directions and help to raise the awareness of digital art and help those of my town to explode into the next century, in reflection of the demographic that actually invest in it.

You know I am convinced there is a wall that separates the minds of those born from 1960 and 1988 but surely their would be a little more understanding between the minds of those in their late fifties and early sixties with those in their 30’s. I was nineteen when I was fucking the brains out of fifty year old women and we had a clear understanding then.

Talk to them about sex, trade and expansion of digital merchandise and they become cross-eyed before you have a chance to offer to take them to dinner.

It is not just women mind you, that are having trouble with navigating our modern world.

Art Vandeley is a writer for “Skill-Set,” Magazine and was asked to give his take on “Surviving,” the do’s and don’ts of the strip clubs. He went through the usual lists of understood behaviors of the gentalmen’s bars that most of us learn at sixteen but he decided to give this diatribe of, “If the bouncers want to beat you up, take it, they have tazers.”

“No matter what happens keep your cock in your pants,” “Don’t ask for out-calls, cause someone will think you are a cop.” “Stay away from the ATM, cause it’ll take all of your money, be cheap in other words and even if she has stretch marks and is clearly seeking to pay her rent, don’t spend all of your money on an undeserving performer.”

It was the rudest article ever, but just shows how times have changed.

We as a nation have become so wrapped up in how we are preconceived, we’ve sought to turn the industry of gentlemen dens, pubs, bars, social lounges, where communication leads to touch, into a partitioned viewing port.

Look, don’t touch. Speak, don’t insinuate. Offer to assist, don’t seek to gain. Trade, never accumulate wealth. If you have wealth, give it away. As I sit and view how the world has changed I have a hard time understanding where it comes from. Whose bad joke was it to have us all entertaining tape-worms. I have asked others what they make of digital advancements in the world of art and what value do they give it, the effort put into it?

Those I’ve spoken to have a different outlook from those that have physical galleries, entrapped by the demands of paying rent and commercial property taxes. It was hard to place much credence on their perspective because they don’t own an art gallery. Yet they brought up the issue of our world being graphically and digitally influenced throughout our major cities. It is not such an innovative process to sell and trade the digital medium in the metropolises as opposed to the notion surfacing in rural America stagnated in the perpetual 1930’s to the 1950’s, in their mental processing.

That being said, this same group finds the promotional endeavors of the online world to be as much of a fantasy as that of the manipulative practices of the inner city Malls, or mermaids: https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/siren-s-allure-sfw-version

That was shocking. To find how many have not attributed the practice of promoting their particular franchise via Twitter and other digital platforms and find those that do to be all charlatans.

That is why I enjoy drawing Portraits.

I remember a few months back. There were some artists that told me, in pursuing Portraits or art in general, replicating the model I reference, exactly is not necessary, neither should I focus so much on creating new styles and stick with commercialized and conventional process’s. Isn’t that absurd advice?

This was coming from Concept, Fantasy artists that work in a field of art that is by definition, not commercialized, conventional, or modern. It is neither held back by the rules of impressionism, expressionism, or mannerisms.

1 Cor 13-12

There was a time when none of us knew what we looked like. Then the artist came and was encouraged to illustrate truth. To reflect truth. That is one reason why I enjoy devising portraits. It helps to exercise my artistic muscles, through free hand, mirror what is before me as accurately as possible, to speak truth.

When I say JuicyJolene Chicago

@thejuicyjolene is beautiful, I don’t have to wait for her to mail me prints to prove I know her and we have a good repore. I draw her and you can clearly see the truth of what I tell you. I am a stickler about the truth when it comes to portraits. I leave room for a few mistakes. I am human, yet I believe those mistakes add theme and a little more realism towards the context of the project. Only I am not singular in my desire for quality works of art. My desire for everything I do, to be loved and appreciated is the reason I asked a few followers, how do they feel about the idea of two of my pieces not observing the standards of quality attributed to certain platforms or galleries? Do they agree or should I appeal the decision? Is it even worth it?

To me it is. If my model did not appreciate my attempt to capture her beauty I would be devastated and have to commit myself to working on her image until I satisfied her. Thankfully to my talent, she was very happy with the results.

After having written to Joyful Jewel Galleries: https://adventvoice.newgrounds.com/news/post/1055074 and waiting the few weeks for a response about my work, I received it today. Of course I had to be the one to initiate the meeting because I am such an intimidating artist. The owner of the gallery asked, when I walked into the door, “Are you the young man that sent in the application?” I had been standing and looking at a lot of the new displays that were entered for this month for at least thirty minutes before she remembered me.

“Yes I am,” I responded. She blushed and said I was going to email you, when you are done browsing I would love to talk about your art.”

I ended my review of their works and stood on the other side of her sales counter and listened intently.

“Though we love your works and what you had to say about your motivations and desire to produce art, we don’t feel you will sell here very well. Our supporters and buyers are an older crowd and we feel you would be better suited in a more “Modern,” atmosphere.”

She apologized and I was more than happy to take her recommendations of finding an art gallery in the city to display my works. As I listened to her response to my work I was able to contribute my age as a factor. At least she made it quit evident that because I am wrong, my perspective and desire to experiment with my presentation, may be too daunting for an older, and retired crowd.

I am 30 going on 31 so I don’t really feel young, but I am trapped in this strange mode of life in which Digital Art and illustrative works, Roy Fox Lichtenstein inspired Pop Art, Expressionism,  Contemporary Art is still very new. Can you imagine, something devised in the 1960’s still has a had time surfacing in today’s galleries and cultural centers because it is still considered taboo or unsellable.

I personally would place my works in the same league as that of Jasper Johns, but those that view Modern works with the same lens do, and that has been a challenge. Learning how to set my works apart from the classics.

Have been spending a lot of time in reflection about my artistic journey and I remember https://roboseven.newgrounds.com/ early on in our correspondences telling me of how much she enjoyed Toulouse lautrec. That when she saw my pieces it reminded her of him and that was wonderful. Again I could never see myself anyone near the confidence artists like Georges Seurat’s “Sunday Afternoon,” where able to inspire in me, in the days of my youth.

Years have gone by and still I find I am missing something that will encourage a gallery of our modern world to take on pieces I present on face value. Without the boring divulge I can produce to sell the idea, becoming rout language, memorized monologues, and passe by the end of the year.

Taking notes from Lewdua https://lewdua.newgrounds.com/ all I plan on doing this summer is working on my art and devising poems and articles that might come from looking at my pieces for too long as they hang on my wall. As far as diluting my works to fit a galleries standards or desire. Yeah not going to happen.

I do plan on writing to https://www.chathamartscouncil.org/artist/liquidambar-gallery-and-gifts/ Liquidamber Kitty Mecham, to see where she would place my works or if she knows anyone that would be interested. She is not in the market to deal with new artists, but she has an eye for art and I would like to know how my works strike her. Mainly out of curiosity, not because I am expecting anything. She is a funny artist. I bought on of her cards. Making the joke that I saw her name on the back of the card and was wondering if she tried to claim works she did not do, in order to sell them better. She blushed and assured me they were her works. I enjoy her ideas of art. She is into drawing birds and plants and pieces that would fit in anyone’s home décor.

Could I produce works like that. Sure. Will I? Um No.

I never wanted to be known for Wall Art that can be used to turn your home into the finest museum, or agrarian studies. Still don’t and refuse to be reduced to drawing, painting, and beautifying vase studies.

One day soon Digital Prints will come in Vogue and I will be the first on the stoop casting my wares.

As of today my time will begin to rarely be my own. Due to the influx of people that will begin to demand my time and attention for their “important,” projects and desire to aid foster children or families set to lose their children to foster care for past mistakes, lack of work or social aid and education. I will be asked to volunteer my time and patience. This extra work on top of my care-giver duties and the care of goats, I will not be able to wake at my usual 5 a.m, schedule to work on my art and writings.

My articles will have to continue their once a month cycle, which I am sure the fans of my blogs won’t notice. It is the art that might suffer and that stresses me.

I yearn for the day that my output is no longer regulated by my access to privacy, away from the busy bodies who would presume because I don’t participate in their charity works, working a soup kitchen, or building Habitats for Humanity that I am not a productive Christian or citizen. They don’t see me working in a grocery store, a factory, a chicken plant, driving trucks or working for the state road crew, that I am not working. Because I am not going to school, a University, I am not in the military, I am not working. I am not in a restaurant busting tables, or serving drinks in a bar, clerking checks in a bank, I am dead weight and should be available to anyone that calls and says, “ I can’t pay you but can you take time and come work with me?”

I had to delete my files of open information on the computer, to prevent the happen chance, that if those on the land, 77 acres mind you, need to computer, I don’t offend their Christian sensibilities with my lewd, violent, intellectual, graphic art. The day I am able to work uninterrupted, and present works unabashed will be a good one. Of course I personally have never been ashamed of my works, but I am very much aware of the contention that is set to come from my puritan friends.

I would not know what to do with myself if I was able to showcase my works among publishers, advertisers, and lewd art supporters that would see my works and ask for commissions and full time dedication for what I am able to produce. Of course I know what I would do with myself, I would produce. Non-stop, journals filled with ideas, ready for publication in less than 72hrs and articles flowing weekly to feed the imaginations of interested readers and aspiring artists who would not mind collaborating and promoting their own ideas along side my own.

An endless stream of work. An enterprise set to take you all away from your own daily grind and immerse you in the numerous universes built upon the frame work of pleasure and ecstasy.

Why is it so wrong to desire to see the grocery store shelves, which of the moment bore me with the Times Magazine, Southern Living, Vogue, and Home Cooking, filled with my works, @Lewdua , @Tina-Raze, @prywinko, @DellaKitt, @bmesias063, @ShreyaVikram, @ZebraHumor, or any of the numerous and talented creators that have shown me love in the past three years?

Why has it become impossible to believe that what we put our heart into is sound enough to build a citadel upon?

A home is all I really want, but that is too small to dream of. I am the Dream Weaver mind you, and I build and store a lot upon dreams. I dream of my virtual support translating into home discussions about art and a house full of illustrators and artists, writers, devising works that are to be sold, published, and keep my bills paid, so I never have to live in some card board box.

There is an artist in my area by the name of Marcela Slade, who charges 175.00 to teach illustrative techniques. The Art Center charges, 52.00 to teach “Life Drawing,” with an emphasis on nude models. Then there is Kelly Oakes that teaches Painting Portraits, and Mixed Media for 168.00. The Intro to Abstract Painting is 180.00 for six meetings.

And I can’t get one person to buy into my little publications for 1.00-10.00; or I am told charging people 150.00 for a piece of art is too expensive. With this new information about my present competition, I would have to argue with those that would presume, promoting, showcasing, and self-publication is not an active occupation.   

So I wrote https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2019/06/02/the-fantasy-list/ and a few people suggested there is nothing in the American legal system that can be used to oppress NSFW artists. That things have changed over the years and it is a lot more acceptable than in times passed.

I just learned today that Mike Diana has been around somewhere since 2017. I hope he is doing alright: When I moved out and began traveling, I ran into some situations that unless you were there you would not have thought they'd happen. But to hear that things are not as bad as my blog suggests is nice. Is wonderful. I was not upset, though the idea that the naturalist pacifists, would suggest justification behind the incarceration of a person for their livelihood is upsetting. Now you say no one is being oppressed for lewd works. I can site a few examples of those that where... https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/d38dyz/the-obscene-comic-that-got-its-artist-thrown-in-jail-is-back <<That was just one famous occurrence but there are many others not so known that see questions like, what my naturalist friend posed after reading https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2019/04/07/let-freedom-ring/ "Am I ok with the laws?" I was shocked and had to ask myself, "Why would I not be?"

In order to suggest that things are better for perverts and lovers of the obscene since 1994, I was sent the guidelines of the Federal government on why Mike Diana was sent away.

https://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/citizens-guide-us-federal-law-obscenity

So Mike Diana was charged with obscenity due to his creation and distribution of comics including the boiled Angel series. US obscenity laws prohibit the following:

18 U.S.C. § 1460- Possession with intent to sell, and sale, of obscene matter on Federal property

18 U.S.C. § 1461- Mailing obscene or crime-inciting matter

18 U.S.C. § 1462- Importation or transportation of obscene matters

Broadcasting obscene language

18 U.S.C. § 1465- Transportation of obscene matters for sale or distribution

18 U.S.C. § 1466- Engaging in the business of selling or transferring obscene matter

18 U.S.C. § 1466A- Obscene visual representations of the sexual abuse of children

18 U.S.C. § 1468- Distributing obscene material by cable or subscription television

18 U.S.C. § 1470- Transfer of obscene material to minors

It's worth noting that the laws themselves don't define obscenity, so the Supreme Court came up with the Miller Test to determine whether something is obscene. Boiled Angel counts as obscene since it contained depictions of murder and rape far beyond "contemporary adult community standards"

Also, as far as I've seen, these laws haven't actually changed much in recent history. Therefore I was incorrect in assuming laws have changed. I do want to point out, however, that according to these laws Diana was never arrested for making these artworks, but for intending to sell and/or distribute them. As far as I can tell, this doesn't necessarily seem to be an act of oppression, but rather regulation so that it doesn't get into the hands of impressionable children.

Citizen's Guide To U.S. Federal Law On Obscenity

Just so you know this is not good news, it is an act of oppression: especially since Obscenity was not defined, is not defined, and can be construed as using foul language, gore, violence, or a PG-13 movie: the guy was set up and if he was not and really intended harm all of that can only be determined by the original findings of the officer that investigated him. Again those that desire to peddle sex have things they are not allowed to do, regardless of Freedom of Speech laws and the inferred Freedom of Expression presented in the constitution. None of this changes my view points of my article of the "Fantasy-List," and if you are going to be passive about the intrusion upon you ability to create and trade smut, then don't get in the business of sex work. There are head hunters out there, lurking in the shadows and to be aware is to be alive.

I loved the discussion though with those willing to have it with me. I would suggest those that are younger than me to respect my wisdom on this issue. Everything presented proves my point entirely and makes me feel so good to be right. I love winning and would have made a bad ass lawyer. Anyway enough blowing of my own trumpet. The point of sharing this with you all is just to make you aware of my contempt for the pacifists and those that suggest, things are fine and it is not as bad as my articles suggest. Grow up and quick!

It was suggested that because Diana is free of probation and allowed to exhibit his works things are better. Mind you, Diana's has had his work in galleries before Superchief and got tagged, by and undercover cop.

Galleries will take work, if it will sell. That has never been an issue. LA has always been open to that kind of stuff. But the laws that allowed for an undercover cop to take his work and build an investigation to have him arrested was what I was referring to. Maybe times have changed and I am slow on the uptake but from where I am standing, to lock someone up for what they wrote or illustrated and not what they have done is a bit much.

Long live the right to ones fantasies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPVCNK74ZBI

Well I have sent the email to Joyful Jewel Galleries: https://adventvoice.newgrounds.com/news/post/1054173

I am so excited and I hope they like the 5 pieces of art I want them to accept and present in their gallery. It really was a hard choice, because I love all of my pieces for several reasons and it is not like I can just say one is better than the other.

This is the email I sent to them:

The first image is that of the Application you all asked me to fill out before I submitted any art works with you all. 

The next set of images I have attached to this file are those that I would like for you to display in your gallery. 

As I said in my application, each piece has a story to tell and on my online galleries I have shared a lot of what they mean and the motivation behind the works: 

"I was seeking Anansi," is a discussion on who she is, why I think she is a woman and not a man as older stories would suggest, why to me this is the true interpretation of the Anansi. 

This image fits into the universal expression as to what and who she is. She is not some web slinging mutant, or a bandit capturing child that meddles into the affairs of desperate men.

She is not a harpy set out to capture a man because she her self is incapable of caring for her own affairs. She leaps and Transends the walls of thought, belief, public structure and order with prudence and wisdom, constantly weaving the order of the stars into her favor. Building ladders of success one level at a time. Set to unlock doors many kings and queens of high places would not allow, "the common," man or woman to enter, she finds a way.

 Isn't she lovely.  Though I do not doubt that the African's devised a male deity whom danced and sung songs for rain~ which is forever going to be a necessity in a land commonly touched by drought; I was more or less centralizing the lore of Anansi or "The spider," with her personage. 

Under the belief that mortals are defined by occupation, station, or class, and internal will. I am convinced of the "Female," personage of "The Spider," because of numerous sources of information outside of the Bible that speak of her maternal nature opposed to the masculine. I am also certain because of male bigotry which is deeply rooted in African teaching and how old the story is, you'd never find a leading "female," role. Though their are many female mortals or demigods or ancients that have left trails of their prowess to be found by the inquisitive. 

For instance my newest project is about, "Three Little Mothers," (https://www.deviantart.com/adventvoice/art/Three-Little-Mothers-751898981)  who control a tower and eat a city alive. Much like the spider in the book of Isaiah 59:5.  

"Day Break" is a tribute to Norah Jones: https://www.deviantart.com/adventvoice/journal/Norah-Jones-Tribute-766274468

"Ezo Funk,"   I did this piece in Tribute to a friend who made a song that I thought was wonderful. I play it all the time and now when I think of the Samurai I can not help but to incorporate some of his flavor into my work.

Keep jamming my friends!   https://www.deviantart.com/adventvoice/journal/Ezo-Funk-753654255

"My View of Heaven," I began this piece because I felt their was a lack of understanding in the world of how important the thought of heaven really is. What we will find there and how secure one must be that no matter what we do in this life; if we seek to help others there is a place under the tree of life for each and every one of us. 

A place where we can laugh with our children, sing with our loved ones and cheer for the victory that awaits those still willing to dream.

Yes, what a wonderful view of a world just over the mountain of life. Even for men like me.

 I was disturbed by the lack of appreciation of some conservative groups for the heartfelt intentions behind the works of artists and instead of taking the offense lying down I decided to respond the best way I know how: https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2017/11/16/the-artisans-of-heaven/

"Happy Birthday Set,"  Well I've known Set for a while now: https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/no-nut-november

When I first met her online at Discord https://www.deviantart.com/adventvoice/art/Set-771083265She is still hosting Night Time Talk Server and the gang still gets together and share some of there more sexual ideas she is a big fan of artstation.com/pantykitty which after you view her work, you can't help but to want to support her, in anyway you can.

Set's big day is on May 2nd. Which makes me very happy because I was able to complete the project, with days to spare. As time continues to pass and she gets older I can't help but to wonder what she will be like when she is twenty five or thirty, will she still be there to talk to about one's Night Time Thoughts, or will she be married and unavailable to me? Will she grow her hair long and who will be the man to marry her, to cherish her, and aid her in finding joy through her endless list of pleasures and desires?

I ponder this at times and the moment passes, finding it easier to enjoy the fact that in this moment I am able to give her something special for her birthday. What the years entail, we will just have to wait and see.

This is also an answer to a few artists that feel there is no value in Digital Art. We look at works crafted through the computer and denounce the talent that is there or choose to not understand and demonize the effort put into the work. For a while now I have had to push beyond the negativity surrounding Digital art and find the courage to present to you today 5 of my more acceptable pieces of art. Works that give way for the Traditionalist, Modernist, Fundamentalist and seeks to combine them all into one medium. 

  I do hope you have found my presentation entertaining and educational and can see the value in the showcase as much as I do.

What really motivates me as an artist and in time I hope you too will share this with others as you get to know me is the idea of not fading away in time or lose the battle of Creative Relevancy, https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/battle-creative-relevancy-advent-voice/?published=t  https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/adventvoice/creative-relevancy

https://www.deviantart.com/adventvoice/journal/Dream-Weaver-s-Questionnaire-761752796

                                                                                    Yours Truly 

                                                                                  Advent Voice

I can only hope they respond well.

I decided to do something special and creative for my fans and supporters of my work. I never considered my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/AdventVoice prices to be outlandish and flashy as some of the others I support or have yet to support because of the price. This has made me not wanting to drop the price or yield on the amount I publish just because I am scoring 0 on traffic to this particular brand of service for written and creative material.

Coming to the conclusion that we all have gotten accustomed to playing little to nothing for the hard work of creators and artists and the idea of paying a dollar, five dollars, one hundred and fifty dollars tribute to your favorite creator is rather intimidating, I have decided to give a preview of what most of you are missing when you decide to force my hand and give you material for free. LOL JK. I do it cause I love you all so much.

I hope you enjoy and get a kick out of the story as much as I did!

https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2019/05/31/apt-1012-overview/