Hey guys and gals!

I just want to take the time to apologise for my lack of artistic dedication and overall communication with you. You've supported me for 4-5 years and don't deserve that. I owe so much of my joy, happiness and contentment to you and art and should sacrifice more to the cause. Of course I have sketches building and have been spending my time we'll.

If you consider drawing and playing FFBE as time well spent.

I've been making plans to change my office and production studio to a new location and the move has taken a lot out of me since I am alone. I need new buisness cards, new shoes, a new hat, just a lot of things for this new year of 2021!!! All of which costs money I don't have. Why doesn't 100 dollars of food last a month anymore? The American dollar is really not giving me the value I need and more 💰 is hard to come by when people no longer desire face-face contact or trust products in the mail to be Covid free. People are not as kind as they were a year ago because of Cabin fever and I've just been made to keep to myself for my own peace of mind.

I've separated from my boy-toys for a while cause he was too toxic. I might go back to only dating women again because I can't handle the split personality of fem-boys. The ass was good, but that is not enough to establish a healthy relationship on.

I had a good new years though, met some nice people and I might be able to get some work done next month, who knows, depends on if my check comes here on time after the evil snail mail gets over it's hording issues.

I wanted to take the time now to talk about dating apps and how I feel, because of the complications set by the human spieces, have become the tool of women like The Head Hunter, police department s, prohibitionists, and forces set against a healthy sex life, to entrap men and based upon the intention of words passed between consenting adults, send them to jail or worse. Dating apps like PoF, Meet me, and whatever are a toxic program which not only store facial features and personal data, but are the perfect systems to people farm.

It is the only way I can justify the existence of police officers being paid to sit in their cars, pretend to be interested in some sexual encounter, or receiving credits for the moments of heated flirtatious conversation, lurking in a black screen and clicking the camera on when they think the conversation is going to include a hook up.

This is why I don't use dating apps.

Thats why I remain single and had a quite new years.

When this occured, the only thing that came to mind was The Matrix, when Morpheus asks Neo, "Where you paying attention, or too busy looking at the woman in the red dress?"

Being aware is very important friends and if you are alone for these holidays and want someone near, dating apps is just not the way to do it anymore. No telling what is anymore.

Best to find a hobby, stick to it and make money when you can.

After finishing all three episodes on demand i was able to get over my disappointment in the speed of which a plot, based on a classic story was crammed into on!y a few hours of television.

It was conducted well and the cenamatic features of digital mountains, of India were developed well. It was nice to dive into the world of hypocritical nuns, who determined to stifle love, lust, rage, and envy, in the name of spiritual enlightenment, and religious prowess, in a world where time stands still, and the shades have no hope of an external resting place.

Had me considering, just how old is the struggle of mankind, to cope with the beast that resides in us all, that only desires to love and be loved?

Is it worth dying over, killing oneself for? Are people worth all of that drama?

I am supposed to believe so. I am supposed to believe the joy found bathing naked in a pool of water with a lover, is worth contending over and plunging a knife into the ❤️ of those that would seperate us from the one or many people that find joy in our company.

I think of the one woman that true!y loved me and how cruel I had to be to her in leaving. I told her I loved her, and I love her so much that the hatred her daughter feels for me can not seperate her mother from her. So I left. Willingly, to appease the irs of a jealous brooding hussie, who has never felt love in her own life and was willing to say or do anything to prevent her mother's happiness.

Today I was able to reach out to this one love. I have to put this in here, just so you understand that my joy in merely hearing the voice of such a sweetheart, moaning in joy at the sound of my own, no matter how far I must go for my own safety, no matter how hard the envious bitch chases after me to end the connection and devotion we have for another, nothing can take the joy from me in knowing that she still swoons and dreams of my touch.

I could never love anyone as much as I love her, and though I did not kill myself as illustrated in this Black Narcissus television program, I did sever the physical connection harshly, coldly, so untrue to how warm my heart beats for her.

It feels like a death. Like I'm drowning and sucking in more than my lungs can hold. Crashing into the deep, just to save her peace of mind and relationship with her daughter and family.

Could be for some pious pride. Could be for spiritual balancing. Knowing I can't play God with the lives of others and needing them to make their own decisions for the story to retain it's authenticy. I write the story, I never tell people what to think of say...though I wish I could.

I wish I could illustrate how real love does not have be seen as selfish because you are happy and desire to have it here and now while your alive. Not waiting on a world unseen, a dream, to claim ones peace.

My world is not so bleak. My love not so weak.

It's pretty nice to have been able finish a project, despite, not having a job, covid shutting cities, and being homeless as fuck.

In my previous messages to you all I went into a few details about my job loss, and really feeling bad that I could not keep up with the demand, in my limited capacity. I mean it felt irresponsible to continue drawing when I had no home and was living out of motels, needed work, a car, a computer, a camera, and all the things that make a biusness like this thrive. With my family gunning for me, trying to commit me in an insane asylum because they could not figure out how to help me find stable housing....not that I really I needed them to...I mean after losing my job I just needed a basement for a few weeks untill something came along, but no, they had to piss me off and make me leave them all high and dry and say fuck that cause I refuse to take pills the rest of my life, have someone tell me I am crazy, when I am not, and control my allotted sums of state funds to the tune of 800 a month, just cause I happen to be homeless for a little while.

While I am here in Texas I am hoping someone will want to buy into the work. Several friends have asked me, "Why do I desire to sell my ideas, and share my leud works, knowing how hard it is, and unapproachable it makes you?"

Because I am tired of the pussy footing people are doing with sex, life, comics, movies, the world of entertainment as a whole. Why should people not pay for the things they want, and why should what I make, not sell? Sorry, profits make sure people are not homeless, starving, and begging other broke people for a pretty penny to eat a nice meal in a warm house.

A lot of gas, I know. Sigh, I met a friend in Texas since I've been here that has helped me along. He is very gay. A bottom and he likes the art. Not that it means much. But it's a start. Yet since he is gay, and is in Texas, he is afraid of his shadow. Hates people, and works at a Pizzarea during the week. Which is good for me cause that means I get to eat when I need to. The bad thing is, when it comes time to branch out and add more people to the team of dreamers that want more out of life than the crumbs given, his negative vibe will spurn others and completely fuck up my chances to make a go out of sharing my talent with others. (Why can't I ever find people that can play nice with others?)

I'm never going to hear the end of how I stayed up all night and ignored him, cause the girl-side of his brain felt ignored and overlooked. (I personally don't get into those kind of discussions. Nothing can get in the way of the art, not even lovers)

I am not sure how much longer I can do this no money bit. (I cared for an elderly woman for four years and was made to walk away from the job, with no referrals, no avenues for better employment, and a complete lack of appreciation from the scum who hired and ultimately used the fuck out of me.) Just had to get that off my chest. I am happy I spent that time pounding out art. I feel I have a solid enough portifolio to real!y go anywhere, show what I can do for them, and sell my talent to the highest bidder. Yet of course it's looking really bleak out there, with Covid, and Elon Musk wasting all that fucking gas by blowing up his damn toys. No one wants to spend money on Hollywood, Bollywood, Independent artists or anything when they are hungry.

I am hungerier than most and I believe this will keep me hunting but I'm at a loss as to where to go from here.

If anyone has any ideas, feel free to share.

This Is the first time I have ever seen my work through the view port of a Tablet. I now understand why so many wanted me to buy one and it is hard to imagine how I have gone so long without one. Once I get a new S-pen I'll be able to actually produce art beyond the novice attempts of finger painter. I might even be able to participate in an art exhibit here in Houston if I can manage to produce enough pieces by Dec 5 2020. It is kind of a lot of pressure considering I don't know anything about the venue, besides that it's connected to the bank and they are rather open-minded about most presentations. I don't know, but every 5th of the month I can expect an opening, if not Dec I'll be ready by January. Then I can earn some money, get my name out there and celebrate at Molly's Pub.

I have a very extensive process when it comes to creating art and writting. For those of you that have visited my discord server, it maybe clear just how reliant I have become, on technology, and just how much Ive studied, different operating systems, which ones I like, and just how addicted I am to the digital process.

This being said: I feel, and I could be premature in such a declaration, but I may not post more work until I have a nee tablet or laptop, I cant carry a desktop around while traveling, and a smartphone, as wonderful as it is would render me blind trying to illustrate my stories with it, thus, until I manage to buy a new tablet or laptop, maybe a touch screen one, I may not publish new works.

I could use the excuse that since I am homeless and living here and there, train stops, roof tops, and anywhere out of the rain; rain that has not ended for two weeks now in Houston-bum-fuck-Texas, I should not produce until I have a place to call home.

I wont. I am addicted to art and like a Covid patient, cant breathe if I dont put lined on the blank fucking pages. Cyber Monday will be my reintroduction to the Dream Weaving Universe, if all goes well and this monsoon season does hamper my style.

Please stay tuned for updates in the creative process.

I really did not know what to entitle this as. I just want to leave messages that allow new and old fans of my work to understand that i lost everything. Sketches, old panel sets, computer, and the overall security found in a home. Having a hard time adjusting to sleeping at tram and rail stops. I have journals completed for two more books id like publish soon, but with so many people seeking my confinement in some form, be it a mental hospital, prison, or merely made to remain in a city like Houston that refuses to open the market up for trade and commerce, any product i create outside of internet platforms will remain on the shelf. When your homeless you dont even havea shelf to store your products.

So, my new quest is to work like a dog to save for a car, studio, and new buisness cards.

Ill not want to make Houston a permenant residence but im still not sure where id want to live, North Carolina is no longer welcoming. I have that DWI i never did get resolved and i wont make it to my court date. FTAs cause people to go to prison, so ill be running from that for years or until i can bribe a judge to leave it be. If you my twitter posts you will see that ive dawned the covid mask full-time, and while i walk the empty streets with my long hair and beard most confuse me for ISIS, which means a lot of people want to shoot me here in Texas to prove to their country that they have the heart of the brave and dont fear arabs.

I try to tell em im not a terrorist im an artist. Things get lost in translation.. So i need to start practicing my second amendant right soon. Damn i hate Texas with a passion, whoes idea was this?

Oh yeah my insane mother who only asked me to come here so she could trap in a mental hospital in the hopes of recieving 800 a month from what i call a Crazy-Check but the locals call a CMCs. Very Andy Warholish of my mother.

Needless to say i haveno family, im on my own and all i have is a sketch pad, journals, pens and ambition.

And hell no im not going to Atlanta to work for AdultSwim.

Fuck i need commissions and a job pronto.

Love you guysand gals and thems.

No group homes in houston texas. No one hiring. Covid has everyone afriad and art is the last thing people want when they are economically insecure.

Im homeless but not alone. Love the friends ive met and want my family. The global one and immdeate to know im well and will be back in communication soon. When i find some high ground from my massive homeless jobless situation.

I should leave a phone number so those caring enough can call my father for me so i can buy a car. A large one like a station wagon to carry all of my personal effects.

I have been rendered homeless for the time being and won't be able to publish more works until my living conditions change and or I find news paper publishers willing to feature my articles and art for a minimum wage salary. Then I can at least pay a rent bill. So in the mean time you catch up on the news with my bout with women and their need to try to lock me up cause I mentioned their tits look nice. Some would say they don't know when I'm joking. Well I'm not joking. I'm broke, homeless, in the cold and smoking more cigs than I drink cups of coffee, hoping for a way out of this situatution without being seen as the bad guy. Good material for a second mid season issue of the bad guy series. Well I'll be seeing you all sooner than you think if I can beat back this cold weather.

My past continues to float before me in the mornings.

I've not had a real cigarette in a few days and my mind is pretty clear. I don't like it, I guess. Definitive conclusions are made in an instant and because I'm tired of alienation I've learned to relax in the compromise.

In a state of reconciliation Oct 19th 2020 a day before my court case: DWI: I was given a continuance.

I can only surmise my self-righteous lawyer is seeking to make an example of the cops who arrested me and the legal system as a whole, to give me the best deal.

It's all I can conclude given I know nothing besides what she tells me and can only perceive a threat to an officers badge will get him to change his/her story about an unsub and let him/her off with little to no punishment for something they may unquestioningly deserve.

(Only after I am given a favorable review, will I divulge just how unworthy I feel for any show of favor on my behalf.)

With this time, it would make sense to make more art, finish my stories and continue to reflect on a past, I can not change but can no longer abide. The slander and lack of justification: on account of who I am, an anthologist, living an ungratuitous life.

I don't call him a friend~ he is my overseer, employer, certainly no mentor, by the name of Anthony Boone. When I first arrived to Beulah, 4 years ago, he asked me to invest in Bitcoin and a lot of his investments or ideas became considerably unaffordable, neither can he fill me in on his gain or rate of interest, he never cashed out and is investing in another coin; some digital currency that is rather cheaper than the now 1,000 dollar demand placed on Bitcoin. Digital filth set to milk more dupes, who can't receive a return on their investments because no bank will validate a digital wallet or script. (CDs) or credits they can materialize out of thin air.

He even divulged a secret about how some trading firms where audited into oblivion by the FEDs for misappropriation or the inference of; 20,000 USDs set to trade that magically never made it to the trading floor.

The highest crime of this century and it continues to be under reported.

As I have said before: I refuse to invest my time and money and energy into losing teams. I've been like that since PeeWee basketball.

The losing team: I have perceived many of them over the years; yet I have yet to find a winning one. I would certainly invest in it if I could. I'd make one if it involved art, comics, political discussions, lawyers, and reaping the benefits that comes from capitalizing on the losing team.

I always feel I have the formula, but making money--real money takes more than one man, one mouth, one sales pitch.

In my immediate circle their are few I could get to invest in my NSFW Universe, yet I know there is someone out there that will.

Here is to holding out hope.

Hoping for no jail time to continue my work.

No jail time for being accused of money laundering. No jail time for being an outspoken porn artist. LOL aint that a joke, I was called a porn artist, instead of a porn star.

Shouldn't we NSFW artists receive awards for "BEST IN SHOW!"

I finally was able to showcase most of my work with the Dream Weaver on PIXIV: with the issued support of one or two followers: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/85114936 https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/37570430 I happen to follow 15 or more people and of course who would come to mind most of the time?

Lewdua: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/22188921 I am curious about the direction of their work and it feels good to know they do the same for me. That they are interested in artists like: FANBOX https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/83431509 A NAME I CAN NOT PERNOUNCE: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/76442737 O WAIT HERE IS ANOTHER ONE: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/66005055

Anyway I was realizing that our friendship is something I should cherish and I am happy to have been able to publish what I have before I go to court.

https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/37570430

The link above is a way to see how I would have liked "Bad Guy," to be read by my followers and new recruits.

I wrote an article recently on Wordpress.com: https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2020/10/17/foreign-languages/ and there are several pieces of art that did not get passed Wordpress's (Porn Identification hijacking system) Posting this and several others I had tried to remind you all that progress with "French Connection's," is coming and it is something I can certainly focus more on after my DWI Issue.

I go to court tomorrow and have to have a Zoom Call with the legal system in my area. I don't have to be in the actual court room due to their fear of Covid. (Confidentially I would like them to rule that due to Covid-19 it does not seem conducive for you to do have to do time in the jail house and risk exposure to a killer disease for a crime that does not warrent death...you are hear by, given time served, with a flag on your licenses.)

Doesn't that sound nicer, that 6 months confinement and revocation of your ability to travel?

Anyway Cross your fingers that production and prpgressive throught can be filtered through the airwaves, after I am free from civic obligations.